By Kelly Nunnerley
Why touch the flame of a fierce raging fire?
This time it’s different
I’ll move my hand higher
Intolerable buzzing, heavy tick of the clock
poison in your body
yet you tip-toe round your rock
You can dance with the devil till the cows come home
But there are no queens in heaven precious
Let go or die alone
My Affirmation Art
By Skip Trailer
I had to sell all my affirmation art to cash converter,
A need to get real, last name flack, first name Roberta.
Everyday my walls would scream, be honest, plant seeds of love,
But I had to lie about my name, I’m white and male, see above.
I had help to walk like a lion, a panther, a tiger and a cheetah,
My abode was full of Ghandi, Martin Luther, a fella called Nietzsche.
I took on board that asking for help does not make me weak,
I stopped watering dead plants as instructed, so to speak.
Being brave is tiring, growing together exhausting, but I can be unique,
Now that my transference to affirmation art has lost its mystique.
I feel tougher having walked with a 4ft x 4ft canvas for over a mile,
Especially as it was windy and the art said “I don’t owe anyone a smile”.
I got my 90-day keyring, I am no longer the fluctuations of the mind,
Though I have to say, staring at blank walls, I’m starting to question mankind.
Now I feed my mind, my body and soul, most importantly I feed my heart,
Unfortunately, no-one else will since I pawned my affirmation art.
I had to sell’em really because of CCJ’s, parole and an unexpected large fine,
But now I have a clean credit rating and some knock off pants from Calvin Klein.
So, in my new undies I have permission for some well-earned selfless thought,
To eat my coco-pops without affirmation art as some sort of life support.
As I munch and slurp my cereals away I’m aware I have been force fed it,
Keep calm and carry on, as they say, I’ll try in the face of universal credit.
So today, no art, instead new potatoes, broccoli and a Lorraine quiche,
Which is better than super T, cash in the attic and mind-bending hashish.
I’m not totally affirmation clean, I get an email saying I’m “a star just as I am”
And depending on my mood I can put it in, or take it out of, junk mail and spam
By Kelly Nunnerley
Your rancid stench fills my air
stomach churning, I feel you stare
As my hand closes round the next filthy bag
I exchange it for my dignity
swallow hard to stop the gag
You snigger with knowing as I’m sick with compulsion
I’ll be back before dark
full of fear and repulsion
I return like a dog – beaten without a fight
You quench on my shame like a ravenous parasite
By Charlotte Tyler
Carnage and Chaos is what we do
when taking the substance chosen by you.
It’s not until you realise you’re as powerless as that unplugged kettle
that your carnage and chaos begins to settle.
You need to let those tears out of your eyes
Because these emotions you have suppressed are in those cries.
You won’t be given tissues because we want that tear
because when they are all out, your mind will become clear.
When we all came in, we were smashed.
Physically, mentally and emotionally mashed.
Some of us, when we came in were still in denial
Armed with blame throwers, because that’s our style.
Lying, cheating, manipulating, and hurting others before we came.
After hearing life stories and realising we are all the same.
Now a solution is there but we have to open our mind
to some God or Higher Power that we have to find.
Stop the insane thinking, caused by the obsession.
All those insane thoughts are just a valuable lesson
We know we can’t just have that first one,
We may as well pick up a loaded gun.
So follow the 12 steps and go to meetings
You will be blown away by the happiness and the greetings.
A life sober and clean, with no regret,
no bad times caused by addiction, needed to forget
I know which life I would prefer to live.
Grab this chance with both hands and be ready to give
back to others when they are in need.
To banish this addiction they have to feed.
Armed with the knowledge I have learnt along the way,
helping others will help fight my addiction every day
Six Feet Under
Death would be the best but im still here now,
working through my problems to get the stress off my chest,
Out with my mates,
Im the last one left.
Contemplated taking my life,
Not once but twice,
Thoughts and feelings made me wanna end my life
But im still here just to strive to stay alive
My life hasn’t been the best but I’m looking to change
Its hard going and it feels strange
When it comes down to it, its only me to blame
I hold my head in shame.
I try to build myself back up but I get knocked down
My face is miserable, you can see by my frown
Paranoia in my head keeps me looking around
Not knowing whats happening to me
I feel 6 feet under the ground
By Kelly Nunnerley
To them I mingle seamlessly
Deafened by the chatter
But in my head the room is bare
‘Take my number, we’ll have coffee tomorrow’
For tonight though, this life and soul is hollow
A state of the heart, an emptiness
My mask stays firm to hide my loneliness